


Cold

by VibingBabey



Series: OneShots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Kinda, Logan just wants to feel numb, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Short One Shot, but his ways of feeling numb aren't the best, get this boy some help, no happy ending, this entire thing is a vent fic for myself therefore i can do whatever i want with it hA, vent fic, well i mean its the entire vent fic so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:32:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibingBabey/pseuds/VibingBabey
Summary: Feeling cold is better then feeling something.





	Cold

He lapped in a breath. The icy air nipped at his lungs and nibbled at his lips, sending him a cruel reminder that he was still in reality, whether or not he could feel his breathing, his hands, his emotions.

He parted his lips for a gasp, but nothing filled his lungs other then cold. His chest pounded. Nothing. 

He knew it was bad, but he relished it. He relished the feeling of nothingness, the comfortable numbness that spread throughout his body. Something in the back of his mind longed for a nuzzle of warmth, but he swallowed the slowly building roar of 'this is bad, you’ll die, you’re dying.' He reveled the numb. 

Then he felt his lungs pulse with air, and just like that, the moment was gone. He plunged right back into the routine of breathing, and it roused him. He was angry, and angry was a feeling. Emotions aren’t good for productivity. He needed the numb. And with his wanting, he pummeled right back into emotions. He was rammed right back into a routine he was all too familiar with. It should’ve made him happy. A routine. A routine he was used to. But this one was one of torture, of constant reminders he felt things, whether it was the pulse of his heart or the reddening of his face, it ruined him. He savored any moment that he wasn’t human.

He restrained himself from revealing any sort of emotion other then disgust. It’s not healthy-He knows. But why stop? 

Why stop when you could only feel pain? 

His mind roamed. It was nothing and everything all at once. Physically, however, he rocked on his heels anxiously. His hand rubbed his forehead. Nail scratches covered his right arm, scars seeping into his skin. He only wanted to sate his desire for numbness, but all he could do was hope.

At this point, hope was impossible. 

He shivered. The cold was getting to him. He couldn’t let it, he wouldn’t let it, he shouldn’t let it. He shoved the thoughts away, but he couldn’t stop the shuddering in his shoulders, the sighs of the storm, the skyrocketing blood pressure. The way his head skimmed over everything that could go wrong, the way he squeezed his now bloody arm, the way he succumbed under the weight of his guilt.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the rude ending but this is more of a vent fic then anything else. Don't expect a second part or a happy ending (sorry)
> 
>  
> 
> im also sorry about how short it is


End file.
